August 30, 2006

• Take That, Pluto!

  I’ve been saying it for the past six years. Pluto isn’t a planet.
  And now it’s official!

  
  Source: IAU

  Take that Pluto! Bloody Kuiper-belt imposter. If I might quote Me, Myself, and Irene (2000)…
  “Man, how the hell can they call Pluto a planet? It’s a m*(@#%king trans-neptunian object. Man, this s*(#t don’t make no sense.”

  See, they knew. I mean, look at what’s obvious about Pluto and every other object in the solar system, and it makes sense why the icy little rock is a bloody imposter:
  (1) Highly elliptical orbit that even crosses (but doesn’t intersect) Neptune’s
  (2) Tilted orbit (something like 10-15 degrees inclined from the real planets)
  (3) Tiny and icy, so much that it’d be a comet if it passed close to the Sun
  (4) In the Kuiper Belt, along with several other round objects, at least one of which is bigger and still not a planet

  Come on now, if they let Pluto remain a planet, they honestly would’ve had to “house-rule” in Ceres, Charon, and 2003 UB313 (“Xena”). The only thing Pluto has going for it is “emotional attachment”, and hell, emotional attachment didn’t work in the 19th century when they demoted Ceres to an asteroid (along with three other imposters). Although it does work to keep “Europe” a separate continent when, say, India is not. That’ll remain a mystery…

  Me and my sister have both been anti-Pluto for some time now, so we’re rather pleased with the decision.

  Source: STScI

  But for all the folks who are all emotionally attached to Pluto being a planet… Why? Sure, the Kuiper Belt is all fascinating, but so what if Pluto now has a more proper designation as a “minor planet”? If it stayed a “planet”, then it wouldn’t continue to be the furthest from the sun (2003 UB313 would be), nor would it be the smallest (Charon would be). And really, what’s easier to remember:

  (1) Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune
  (2) Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Ceres, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto, Charon, Xena, Sedna, Quaoar (and with Neptune, Pluto, Charon, and Xena occasionally switching positions)

  Keep Pluto a planet and eventually we’re gonna have 315 “planets” orbiting the Sun.

  Speaking of Minor Planets…

  So I got curious about all the things that are orbiting our Sun, including the asteroids. There are tens of thousands of named asteroids, even, so I found two rather interesting ones:

  
  Kaiser (1694) discovered in 1934

  
  Tanya (2127) discovered in 1971

  That’s mine and my sister’s name if you don’t know. The exchange that resulted:
  K: I’m closer to the Sun, and I’m bigger
  T: When the Sun goes nova, you’ll be destroyed first
  K: ….zounds! You got me!

  And Other Destructive Forces…

  A while back I notified you that Apophis is coming to destroy the Earth. Well, I found out when his ETA is… Object Close Approach Date Miss Distance 99942 Apophis 2029-Apr-13 21:46 0.10/0.00026 99942 Apophis 2013-Jan-09 11:43 37.6/0.0967

  …so, Apophis is coming on my birthday. If it crashes into the Earth and causes another mass extinction then my 46th birthday is really gonna suck… KF

  • 8:45 pm
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